Friday, October 8, 2010

Day 13, 12 Cubed (GCQGRH)

Day 13. Novalee, Niki and I have gathered at the sidewalk in front of my house. I study the GPS a moment. “It looks like we are going to do 12 cubed today. It is only half a mile away.” Niki looked at me as if wondering which direction we are going. I walk towards the bottom of Janeway street and turned up where it meets Welsh. We were going to end up on 321 walking past the high school, “Go Wolves”. I let the GPS rest on my chest.
   This is a brilliant morning. The sky is very blue. The sun is very bright. First time in a while. Normally this would put a bounce in my step. Pleasant weather is very up lifting. It doesn't though. I am brooding. Big deep dark thoughts. Niki fell off the abyss last night. She yearns to go home to NH. She let me know. Her despair wrapped its tendrils around my heart and through my soul. I've  failed her. I brought her to this point. There is little I can do to make her happy now. So it is time for both of us to be miserable for a while. I hate this. Why does love always have to hurt so. I don't know if I have enough band aides to cover all the blackness. I sigh. I am holding Novalees' hand. We are passing the newly painted house on the corner of Janeway and Welsh. Niki points out, I think they fixed the roof on the back porch.” I realize she is trying ease some of the tension. I point out the lines of the porch roof, “No it is the same see how it slopes down and looks unsquare.” She looks at it again, “OH” she says. We sink back into silence. KC tugs and whines. Novalee makes a point at touching every branch, and blade grass she sees along the sidewalk. I brood.
   I was actually surprised Niki came with me today. How can she just let it all go like that. She actually seems uplifted today. I am truly puzzled. She shared her pain and she is healed. Now I hurt. I can't solve this problem. Even if I could just snap my fingers and be living back in NH tomorrow, I still don't believe she would be happy. Well she wasn't before we left. What has changed. Sometimes I think she likes the pain. She likes the drama. Maybe she needs it. She does not strive for solutions. She just hurts. I come out of my brooding as we approach Rte 6(Biddle Street) I look at the gps and sigh. I decide go onto 321 once after we were done with rte 6 and then walk by the High School. This being the best route, I point in the direction I intended to take, and we were walking. I was thinking about the route and I realized it would take us past the historical marker for Seneca Springs. I've wanted to visit this spot for awhile. We crossed the two roads at 2 cross walks, and are now on route 321.
   I see the Seneca Springs Historical marker. “Hey Niki I want to go in here. “ She responds, “Um, Ok?” but hangs back at the side of the road. The sign had said there was a ancient spring 200 yards south west. Intrigued and all brooding forgotten I look at my compass and then the GPS. Looks like both the cache and the spring are in the same direction. I followed a quasi path and motion for Niki to join me, “Come on. I want to find the spring and the cache is near. It is 900ft away now. “
   I wonder if maybe the cache was close to the spring. That would be very kewl. This is why I geocach. The mystery of what is around the bend intrigues me. The prospect of locating an ancient spring is just to cool. I think of Niki and her homeward bound yearning. She loves native American lore. How can she not see the beauty in this place. How can this land not call out to her spirit. I am momentarily flustered again. The trees are thinning the grasses are getting higher and my feet are making a squishing sucking sounds as I lift them up. I look back, Niki is not happy. I feel yet another pang of guilt. I let her catch up to me. Then place Novalee on my shoulders. I look at Niki, “Um we could back track and the take the road. It would probably be the better way” Then I smiled, “but we are only 400 feet away, and I'd like to go forward.” I don't like back tracking I never have. I would have done it for her though. She just looked at me as if saying lead on. I think she knew that is what I wanted, so she caved. You know it is not submission unless you accept the fact you submitted. Other wards it is a tactical retreat. Filled with vicious little rallies. Or something like gorilla warfare. I could tell she was going along but didn't like it. Grrr. What ever, we were close to the cache now. We came out of the slushy grass lands. The cache is now 300 feet way. We head through a nice wooded area. Looks like kids hang out here. Power aide bottles lay scattered across the leafy ground.  I unleash KC. He sprints away then back relishing in his freedom. That dog sure can run. I sigh, my sadness returns. Can't have a dog in NH. Not if we don't have a house. We see someones shed in the distance. The GPS directs us into some brambles. Niki makes her stand, “I'm not going in there", she said I'm going around to the road.” That was her way of saying screw you Shad you are on your own. What she did not know was I had already started looking for a better route and no sooner than she had started to walk away I had found a nice path. “Over here” I said, “I found you a nice easy path.” She called back, “Uh, ok, but I'm heading up to it through the woods.” I waited for her to catch up to Novalee and I. She put KC back on the leash. We walked this nice clear path up to the rail road bed. Oh!, and I had forgotten how beautiful foliage can be along these rail lines I paused and took a few pictures.  
   It was here, that I finally went through the shift that allow me to stow my personal baggage.  Niki and I both enjoy this. I was looking at her, “I know where we are.” She smile, “By Kane Lumber?” I nodded my head “Yep” The GPS indicated the cache was westward at about 150ft. I looked up and  excitedly exclaimed, “I know where the cache is. There is a park across from Kane Lumber I think it is in there. It will be easier to get to it from the road. So once again the distance between us and the cache grew but just as quickly it receded until I had found the cach. It was in a private park. A very nice and serene place. The cache did not have a log book so I put a makeshift log book into the cache and then signed it, then rehid the cache. Niki took my picture near the cache spot. The day was bright. The sky was clear. I don't know what the future will hold but I do know that I can try and enjoy the rest of this day.

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