Exercise "Panhandling can be fun"by Marlene Leach. Exercise completed by Shad

Yeah, Panhandling could be fun I suppose. I would have to step out side myself to realize the potential. Could you imagine me begging? Once upon a time I was a panhandler of sorts. I will tell you about it if you got the time.

Yeah time, we have to go back to elementary school. We are in the school lunch room. There I am. The little boy with too long hair and the birth control glasses, thick frames, soda bottle lenses.  I bet he thinks he dresses smart. No one ever told him that button down shirts with big collars and cordoroy pants weren't cool. I don't know if he would understand if anyone had. His parents are frugal. Very frugal. He doesn't know what that means either. Just that his lunch sucks when compared to everyone elses. He wants a pop tart a twinky. Anything from hostess. Maybe even something fried like one of those tatter tots. Oh yeah tatter tots. He is amazed at how many of his piers don't eat their tatter tots. He ate his lunch already. Now he swings into action. First to the kids at his table. His friends?

He looks across the table points at some untouched tots. "you going to eat those." He knew they weren't. He waited patiently for confirmation. His question though suddenly assigned value to the uneaten portion of food. "Yeah, I'm going to eat them." Dejected he asks another.  He gets some tots. He devours them happily greedily. Then scans the cafeteria.

 There are many uneaten portions of tots. He gets up and wanders over to another table and sits down confidently between two girls. "Eww" One gets up. His mere presence at the table grosses out the girl. He smiles, moves closer to the other girl, who reacts in similar fashion. The girls on the other side of the table look at him with disgust. He smiles at them. It is obvious to them that he has cooties or some such catchy ailment. It is not long before the table is cleared. He calls after them, "I guess you don't want to finish your lunches. I will take care of your treys." The girls walk off upset and don't come back. The boy, oblivious to the insults he just received proceed to consolidate his gains. Lots of tatter tots. Some fruit cock tail, the half cherry is still in it, and a partialy eaten chicken patty. Con-tent, he eats oblivious of the social taboos he has just violated. He never wonders why people don't like him. He just uses it to his advantage. He scans the cafeteria once more. He still has time.

I guess pan handling can be fun. That day how ever, stuck, with that young man. He thought about it later. The light came on in his head. I guess it affected him on some internal level. The events played out in his soul over and over again. It can be fun. You get what you want. I always did. But what was the cost?