I had been walking for days now without stopping. Edgeing ever closer to the coordinates. What is a few days?, when measured against the year I had been traveling. A normal life was long past. What was the point? This was my normal now. I walked until exhausted. Found shelter, collapse exhausted. Woke up exhausted check my GPS for bearings and begin walking again. During my long trek I often thought about the why, and the how I had come to this ragged bare foot state. My feet are hard as leathery shoes now. I remember when I forsook my shoes. I had worn through my 3rd pair, and just didn't bother with a fourth. My feet bled and blistered. That had not deterred me. Eventually that hurt went away. My life had become one of simple needs. I needed to walk. I needed batteries for my GPS. I needed food.
I was closing in on my destination. With stoic determination I picked up my pace. Once there I would rest triumphant. With one goal completed, I would rest. My heart no longer ached for my losses. Like the blisters and bleeding of my feet. My heart ache went away. It was now hard and leathery like my feet. I was a walking dead man. All joy in life, gone.
I still don't know why it happened. She moved back home to New England with the kids. I was to follow as soon as the business of selling the old house was finished. Everything was well., until the sale fell through. No other buyers came forward. I missed her and the kids so much. I remember our last conversation. She told me not to bother. She would be fine. She did not want to see me again, ever.
I was so lost. I flipped out. Showed up at her mothers where she was staying. Drove 8 hours to learn she had found another. Heart broken, and alone. I sought purpose in an old hobby of mine, Geo Cacheing, with a twist. I put a random set of coordinates into my GPS, and started walking.
Walking as I was now. In the dark. Save I was much closer to my destination now. Time and perseverance had worn away the distance.
The sun had set. Fog had rolled in. My clothes absorbed the heavy fog, weighing me down with its dampness. Every foot fall seemed to take an eternity. I shivered uncontrollably. I was not well. As I walked on, muffled sounds came to me through the murky darkness. Unseen things lurked out of sight. I saw a light illuminating the fog in the distance. I was approaching a town. The fog gave way to the out line of structures. In the town. The counter on my GPS changed. Three miles. Two miles. One mile. 900 feet. Five hundred. I am on the sidewalk of lighted street. Fog consumes the light. A building looms in the darkness. Most of its structure hidden by the damp fog. I watch the building as my feet draw me nearer. I sigh with relief. Seeing a flickering neon Budweiser sign illuminating a large window, I realize that the building is a bar. I am less then 20 feet away from the coordinates I have been pursuing for so long. If there is a cache here I will be shocked. Still rut around. If there was no cache here. This would be a great place for my? What, epitaph. The world did not deserve it. I look around the front of the building. To my surprise I find a loose brick. I am shocked. I pull the brick out. It is fake. Very clever. What are the odds? I open it. The log note says come in side I am waiting for you. Now I am spooked. I take the note and enter the bar.
In contrast to fog thickened night the bar, dimly lit, seems bright. The room seems large. I had not been inside many buildings since I set out to find this place. I had been in a few buildings over the coarse of my travels. Each time amazed at the size of the indoor spaces. The bar was long. There were more empty barstools than occupied.
One occupied bar stool in particular caught my eye. Upon it sat a man, who had on his lap a cat. He was slowly spooning sugar into a cup of coffee he must have ordered. If it had not been for the cat in his lap the man would not have caught my eye.. That cat though? I had seen before. Or at least one very much like it.
My journey had been full of peril. Several times I had found myself in a tight spot Each time it would seem a black cat, very much like this one, would be a part of that peril. I associated its appearance with danger. Some times the cat was helpful. Some times no. The cat would always seem to vanish as quickly as it appeared. I was weary. Then to, now and again I would dream of black cats while I slept. Not all of my dreams were pleasant. This cat looked up at me. Then started cleaning itself. As the cat seemed to loose interest, the man with the cat took notice of me, as did the bar keep.
"Hey mister we are not a charity here. soup kitchen is that a way." He wavered his thumb directing me the vicinity of the local soup chicken.
"No... I have money. I can pay. "
He lookked at me suspiciously. "All right then, you pay as you go, no tab." I ordered a beer. I handed him my bank card. When the deal was done. I found a booth in a corner where I intended to sit alone hoping to to dispel some of the damp and cold I had gathered from the fog. As I passed the man with the cat on the way to my chosen seat. The man grabbed my arm. All the while stroking the cat with the his other hand, "This contact is illusory", he nods down at his cat, "The cat and I are separated as though by a pane of glass, because man lives in time, in successiveness, while this magical animal lives in the present, in the eternity of the instant." I pull my arm away with just enough force to break his grip. He was talking to me. I shrug, Why me? I mumble a noncommittal sound avoiding eye contact, and look down into the the mug of deep golden amber liquid bar keep had given me. I move on towards my chosen seat.
I hear the man with the black cat voice trail after me. "You don't believe me?"" Touch it, touch the cat." I look over towards the man with the black cat, he has risen from his seat and is walking towards me. He gently cradles the cat as he walks. He has left his coffee on the bar. The man limps slightly.
I don't need this, bull. I look up from my table, booth actually. I don't do bar stools. I need my space. As a general rule I don't drink in public. I don't go any where that is public. I don't like uncontrollable environments. Mainly because I hate situations like these. The crazies. They are every where, and they loved me. Even before I took this hike. Now though I knew. I looked like one myself. I am determined not to escalate this into a whacked out conversation. I'm not going to let it happen, not this time. I'm ready to leave. My thirst unquenched. Dam. I got to get out of here, but the crazy man with the cat is in my path. Dam Dam Dam. I don't want to have to brush pass him. I don't want to give him the opportunity to grab at my arm again.. He has taken the initiative though. He made the first move. Check.
"The cat is not here" Stroke..."Touch it see. Touch it." No place to go, I hesitate then sit back down. I am a captive audience. I empty my mug buying time. While the man with the cat cradled in his arm limps over towards the booth seat opposite. He will come past where I am sitting. Clearing my path towards the exit. I am waiting for this opportunity. But no. The man stops in front of my booth seat check mate.
I sigh with resolve I can get through this. I put on my best game face. I look up at him, he smiles at me. The cat is disinterested. "As I was saying This contact is illusory. The cat and I are separated as though by a pane of glass, because man lives in time, in successiveness, while the magical animal lives in the present, in the eternity of the instant.' Touch it you will see.
I smile up at him, "Sure thing. Magical Cat, um how bout that. Well sir", I always try and speak to the crazies with respect, they sometimes really go off on you if they feel you are making small of them. "I uh wouldn't mind touching your... magic cat. I really wouldn't, but you see I am allergic to cats.
The man interrupts me. "Sir?, huh. How bout that. Don't worry about your allergies, I assure you that the cat is separate from us. In a way he is not here. You cannot truly touch this cat, your allergies in this case do not exist. This in part is my point." He scritches the cat between the ears. The cat purrs with contentment. Obviously feeling the contact. "I urge you to see for yourself." he says
I shake my head back and forth slowly knowing that I am on the loosing end of this conversation. Why don't I just touch the friggen cat. What harm can it do. It might even end this most uncomfortable conversation. But no. I decide not to be man handled. Pressured into touching that strangely familiar animal. I wanted nothing to do with it. I knew that you shouldn't argue with crazies. It never works out. They are always right. Not because they have truth on their side, no, they got something a little more potent then truth, they have the conviction of their own reality. I knew this. Yet I still did not want anything to do with that animal. Presently the animal took interest in me. Looked at the man, then at me and hopped from the mans cradeling arms onto the table surface.
This cat knew no boundaries of etiquette. I tried not to think of its paws on the table. The very paws that I knew inevitably had at one time or another dugg through sand somewhere making potty holes. The dirty paws. Don't think of the dirty paws. It did no good.
The man stood there looking at me expectantly. "It likes you." he stated as a matter of fact. "It may like you more then it likes me." He sighs as if rejected. Mind if I take the seet opposite you?" The cat walked along the tables surface with its dirty paws. It walked towards me. I edged away from it uncomfortably. It took no notice of my discomforture and continued towards my hand which held my empty beer mug. "If you must sir." The man smiled as if he had just found a friend. "Thank you." he said sitting down across from me. His dejection from the cat all but forgotten by him. The cat though was not forgotten, not by me. As the man sat down across from me, the cat made contact. It rubbed against my knuckles which gripped the empty mug . Or did it rub against me? It was the strangest of sensations. As the noncontact of its fir rubbed against my knuckles. I should have felt the hardness of its skull under soft fir beneath skin. I knew that. Because, this is what I expected. I sort of did feel this, but I didn't. It was not there. I felt what I thought I should, but I knew it was a trick of my mind. I looked at the cat then the man surprised. The man nodded approvingly, "I told you."
I sat in astonishment as the cat pushed against my knuckles first its head then the rest of the non existent body rubbed against my knuckles. I mouthed out "how?" I must admit I was freaked out by the cat. I knew if crazy was catchy I would have caught it long ago. That said the cat really wasn't there, oh and yes now I was convinced that it was the same black cat that had haunted me through out the trip. Save it was real, but it wasn't.
The man looked at me with gratitude, "It has been a long time I have waited for another who could accept the truth. Thank you!" I just looked at the man dumbly, when I noticed something odd about him. He was fading as if maybe he had not been there either. Was it the dim ligh in the bar. No I didn't think so. He was fading. He nodded again, "I have searched for you a long time. Please take care of my cat, he really does like you." The man was flickering in and out of existence now." I looked at him dumbly my mouth opening even wider. I must have been pale. I think I stuttered slightly, "Who.. who are you." He looked at me sadly, "I am just a man who had but one love," He looked at the cat with sorrowful affection. "When I died a part of me could not help but worry about my cat. "I could not rest until I found you." "He is a great companion, he really is, take care of h.." With that the man vanished. The cat though, he did not notice the dissapearance. He continued to rub him self against my knuckles. I continued to feel nothing, save for what I thought I should of the contact. It was then I heard the bartender. "Hey you?" I looked around bewildered. I glanced away from the cat and looked at the bartender. Who stood near the still steaming cup of coffee the man with the cat had added sugar to. The Bar keep looked at me and then at the black cat in disgust. "No pets in here mister." I sighed scooped up the cat, and walked out into the night.
THE END
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